Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
