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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  Aren't you in 8th grade?

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  9th, but that's not the point.

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• (408): View more from California

  Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Heyyyy darlin are you busy?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.

  (727): View more from Florida

  Who says it wasn't?

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• (850): View more from Florida

  The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..

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• (206): View more from Washington

  you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!

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