who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
