haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
