Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
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why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
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He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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