it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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