I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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