are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
