she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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