Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
