If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
either way he was missing a nipple.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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