nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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