You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
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It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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