It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
