It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
