i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
