I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize