The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
