ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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