we have officially lost it.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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