he wants to bone in the snuggie
i think i have herpe
just one?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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