Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
