Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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