woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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