the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize
