Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
