Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize