PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
