Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize