It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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