I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
