Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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