First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
