Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
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The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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