Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
