You're my little dorito
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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