After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
