How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This is my gift to your gina
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
