those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
