i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
