Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
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dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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