No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
