Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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