Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
