please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
