I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
