Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
