All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
