she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
