Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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