I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
