I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
