He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
