Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
