bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize