can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
