First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
