Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
