do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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