His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize