Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
