if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
this hospital has no fireball
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
