No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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