you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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