he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize