WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
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i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
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I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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