Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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