So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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