hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
