I need help removing her.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
