Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
