and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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